• Don't be a douche
• Don't fight
• Australia is a multicultural country - no one has less of a right to be here than you do, so play nice.
• Put your goddamn rubbish in the bin

UPDATE:

Australia Day Numbers:

• Estimated People Present at the Foreshore(s) - 400,000
• People Arrested - 60 (I witnessed one, he was also the victim of POLICE BRUTALITY!)
• People given "Move On Notices" (what the fuck are these?) - 134
• Number of People Treated by St. John First Aid - 120
• People Hit By Cars - 2
• People Rushed BY BOAT to hospital - 5
• Noses Broken - 1
• People Stabbed - 2
• Number of People Burned in Hideous Gas Explosion Courtesy of Their Shit-box Barbequeue Exploding - 12 (but it was in Sydney...)

This was gonna be a really long entry, probably of better quality too, but i got bored after the first few sentences.

• Driving my new car at 195km/h and not dying OR getting caught by the po-po's
• Going through a round-a-bout at around 120km/h (kids don't try this at home)
• Being exposed to all sorts of weird and wonderful different kinds of music
• Tickling Jess so much she lost her voice from laughing so much
• Getting one of Ozomatli's set lists (they're a band). To do so I had to jump a barricade and run from security guards. I did this twice, the first time I failed, the second time I succeeded. Hoorah.
• Had Allbrook repeatedly pinch and punch me while he was high because he thought I was a ghost, because "only a ghost could drink that much." Boo Yah.
• I became one of 3 "Goon Centurions". For those not "in the know", "Centurion" is a drinking game where you do 1 shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes, we played it with goon (aka cask wine) which is almost double the alcohol percentage of beer. We also substituted goon in the last shot for johnnie walker red label scotch. We're so hard core.
• I was the only Goon Centurion who didn't puke afterwards.
• I also filled every shot of goon i took WITH MY FEET.
• I drank one glass using only my feet. It was hard, which was why i only did one.
• Jumped off really large rocks at the beach. I have a terrible judge of distance, but I'd say they were about 3 or 4 metres high. I stopped after the pressure change made it feel like someone was poking a pencil into my ear.
• We subbed many a can of beer. I had no idea what subbing was until this trip. Here is how you sub a can of beer:
1. Hold can on its side
2. Make a hole near the base of the can about as big as a 10 cent coin
3. Put your mouth over the hole and turn can upright. Don't drink anything yet.
4. Pull the ring pull thingy on the top of the can to open the can as you would normally, and then suck really hard
5. The beer will then get dumped into your stomach really quickly.
• I erected a "lord of the flies"-esque totem pole, in the form of a kangaroo skull on a stick.
• I stayed up later and slept in more than anyone else that went on the trip.
• Thats about it...or is it?
• HOLY CRAP! I can't believe I forgot this, thankyou to Jess for reminding me. While I was... quite enebriated... I got it in my mind that it would be hilarious to cut a can of baked beans in half with an ax. So I did.
• Beans shot like 10 feet in the air, i got absolutely covered in beans, and then I was just standing their grinning and laughing maniacally with beans dripping down my face for a while. It was totally worth it.