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March 21 Emo Poetry Appreciation For Alasdair, Starring Alasdair. Also, Why Feminists Suck Balls. Man Balls to be Precise.Following is an untitled work written by Alasdair. At his request, I have featured it in a blog.
There's never any parking at ECU.
You have to get there before the sun rises, and beat of the hordes of snakes that the university administrators have deemed necessary to keep as guards for the various parking lots. It helps if you bring Hercules. As for Jenii's question regarding my extreme distaste for feminists, I despise them for a number of reasons. Don't get me wrong though, I am very much for equality of the sexes, and sexual preferences, blah blah blah whatever. Insert a large disclaimer here. However, I hate the pissants that take it too far. They go beyond equality and end up tipping the scales in their favour. This doesn't just go for feminists however, it also goes with several other things, such as racism.
I have nothing against Aboriginals (unless they're the fuckers that sit around in the city getting drunk/high all day and pester me for money - they can go get AIDS for all I care) but they want racial equality, right? Why the fuck do they want welfare cheques then? I have to WORK for my money, why the fuck shouldn't they?
Anyhow, back to feminists.
Feminists need to get the fuck over themselves and realise that men and women are different. You can ask to be treated equally all you like, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Whether you like it or not, on average, men are stronger than women. Its in their physiology. Men have naturally more developed upper body muscles, women have naturally more developed leg muscles. I'm not entirely sure, but this is probably due to the roles that nature gave them - men hunt/fight, women give birth and run away from danger with the kids. Now most people would say "yeah, so what? What does that have to do with feminism?" To which I would reply, feminists all preach equality, yet how many women do you see begging to be labourers? Not many. Why? Because its hard. Let the men do it. Yet women will work their asses off to climb through the ranks in the business world and put in heaps of effort to do it. How come no one wants to put in the same effort to be a good labourer?
This regards the more radical feminists, but what the fuck is with the women who burn their bras and see the bra as a symbol of the domination of men? Any girl that reads this will know, as I have been told by many girls on numerous different occasions, that not wearing a bra is painful. Please tell me why you would want to put yourself through pain? If you don't wear a bra men aren't that likely to care. If anything it will save them time when they rape you, as "all men are rapists, and that is all they are" according to Marilyn French, who is a famous radical feminist, aka moron. Despite this, 30% of reported domestic violence cases in the US (I couldn't be bothered finding it for Australia, US is more readily available) are reported where the MALE is the victim. "So what?" You say. This wouldn't really matter in an argument against feminism, as it means that 70% of cases feature men as the agressors, however in those 70% of cases women can find help at the drop of a hat through one of the many thousands of government funded institutions. When investigated however, only a handful of the thousands admitted men, who had been abused just the same as the women. I wish some feminists were around that could fix this up, make it more EQUAL.
Back to the work thing. Women want equality in the work place, which is all well and good, I totally support this, but be realistic. If you don't have our babies who the fuck will? I'm sure there are some men out there who would take the pregnancy burden in place of women if they could, if not for views of equality, for the maternity leave they would get. Hell, its not like giving birth even has to be painful nowadays, you can just get a C section. Which is another thing that annoys me. Girls that bitch about pain and use the old childbirth excuse. So many times I've been in pain only to have some pissant bitch say "get over it, its nowhere near as bad as childbirth" or something to that effect. When you have given birth, then, please, by all means belittle me when I'm in pain. I know that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience, short of pancreatic cancer, but until you spit out a baby (or 5 in the case of my mum, whos never bitched about it by the way...) shut the fuck up. You'll probably get a C section anyway, should you choose to have a baby with your partner. More on this below...
Even more stupid than the radical feminists are the dumb asses that had their hearts broken by men or were abused as kids, (whatever, I don't care what made them this way), the ones who genuinely believe they don't need men. Seriously, if you have this belief, you are a fucking moron. Get the hell away from my space. Lets take a look at simple homo sapien reproductive biology. To form a zygote (i.e the first cells of a baby) you need both a sperm and an egg. There is no way around this (except that funky new way of turning a normal body cell into a reproductive cell (egg/sperm) but that method hasn't been perfect or tested on humans yet, so fuck you, theres still no way around it). Unfortunately for the retarded feminists who don't need us men, we're the only ones that can produce sperm. So carry on not needing us, watch humanity die out.
In conclusion, feminists are idiots. If you are a feminist, chances are I will not like you, and further more, you are likely to die alone, except for your 37 cats. If you are feminist, or hold any feminist beliefs, rethink them. If they ACTUALLY involve equality, then good, I support you whole heartedly, but if they don't, just remember that somwhere out there is a jar of pickles that you will never be able to open, and as such, we will laugh at you.
Fact: I could have written this better, I might add to it later with some dot points of why feminists suck, but its currently 2:05am and I have uni in the morning, and I have to get an education so I can get a good job and earn some money to support my wife while she looks after our kids... I wonder if anyone will take offence to this last sentence... lets count. March 13 in true whoredom...In true ripping off Jazz fashion, I am ripping off Jazz.
TEN Random Things about me 2. I can whistle with my mouth open, it annoys the shit out of everyone. Everyone. 3. Both me and my brother were named to be leaders of men. Richard is teutonic for 'great leader' and my brothers middle name is Caesar. 4. I'm anti-drugs, but do them anyway. 5. I'm an hxk non-conformist... heh 6. I hate feminists/political correct people 7. My mum sentenced my dogs to death because she's a lazy bitch 8. I hate my mum. 9. I'm a fast runner 10. I'm really bored, but its this or maths. I choose this.
1. Think for yourself 2. Don't buy something just because its a trendy brand. 6. Don't be judgemental unless you have a good reason to be (i.e. if the person has done something bad to you). 8. Don't be stupid. Intellectually stupid that is, if you wanna do stupid stuff, whatever, it'll probably make me laugh, but I hate stupid people.
EIGHT things I want to do before I die: 1. Visit each continent
SEVEN ways to annoy me: 1. Listen to shitty music and have no appreciation for other music. 2. Be a giant pulsating hypocrite 7. Be less awesome than me. This is why just about everyone annoys me.
SIX things I really need to get:
THREE things I do everyday:
March 02 What the hell is on my desk?
Don't even get me started on whats on my floor... A Blog About Chard? What?I'm bored, and as such, am writing a blog. God knows theres no other use for blogs but to sate my desires to do something. Anyhow, the topic of this blog is THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME! It will most likely be like my 101, but this time I'm not counting...
Fact: I forgot that I'd done my 101 thing before this, and only realised it at the end. |
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